John Woodington The official site for the author.

Bob Vila War CryPosted by John Woodington on June 15th, 2010

It’s 5:56 am and I’m awake.  So I’ll let you know what I’m working on currently.  Over the past few weeks, I’ve been polishing up a few short stories to get them submission-ready.  I am planning to put another large chunk of time into editing my novel Alien Nation, and whenever I do that, I like to have a couple of stories that I can submit for publication in the background.  It gives me the feeling that, even though I’m holed up for months on a single project, I still have my short stories out there doing work for me.  The stories I’m working on currently are:

• “Memorial” – The one I’ve revised a bunch of times that I resubmitted after the last revision.
• “Reunion” – A story I’ve just finished about a married guy who reunites with his only other long-term relationship, which leads him down a path of personal corruption and self-examination.
• “Love Story from Scatterbrain’s Journal” – A flash fiction piece about a guy who can’t keep his thoughts in order, but who is positive that he is in love with a woman from his work.

I’ve got a couple other stories that need a lot more work on them, so I may just stick with these 3 for now, and see if they can get me a publication or two while I work on the novel.

In more physically fulfilling news, I think I may be a master plumber.  This past weekend I changed out my bathtub drain, which broke apart inside the piping that connects to the tub.  It took about a total of four hours of twisting, chipping, prying, cutting (with a hacksaw and a dremmel tool) and finally I got that beast out of there and put in a fancy shmancy new one.  When I finally finished, I stood up in my bathroom and raised my fists in the air and shouted “I am Bob Vila!”  Then I had a beer.

Side note because it just came to me: Speaking of drains, I wrote a novel about a girl who I called a “Drain”.  Whenever she touched someone, she drained the life out of them.  It was pretty good, though nothing worth showing the world.  In the filing cabinet it shall stay.

Review of The RoadPosted by John Woodington on June 9th, 2010

So far I haven’t heard anything else from the other two literary journals about submitting an updated version of my short story “Memorial,” but these things take time, especially in the summer, when most universities and their lit journals are off doing crazy summer vacation things.  Like teaching summer classes and preparing for fall classes and taking classes to learn how to teach classes better.

In the meantime, I’d like to mention that I just finished reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy, and I still can’t get over how good this book is.  The writing is on a level that I didn’t know existed.  McCarthy breaks every rule of writing and does it so well that to read by-the-book writing afterward feels dull and uninspired.  Finding a book that reads quickly but contains great depth is really difficult, but McCarthy does it with ease here.  Or at least it reads like it was easy for him.  I’m actually hoping it was wicked difficult and took him endless months to get the narrative to read as well as it does, otherwise I’m going to lose a little hope in myself.  I read a book by Hemmingway about writing where he talked about trying to beat other writers of his day in order to become the best writer in America.  I really don’t think you beat The Road.  “Beatable” is not an adjective I’d use around this book.

I’m currently working on finishing up two short stories, and then getting back into revising and polishing my novel Alien Nation.  I head off to a writers retreat in Pennsylvania at the end of the month, and I’d like to have a few things to show the editors there.  Pretty sure they won’t thing Alien Nation is the next The Road, but here’s hoping.

Resubmissions and ParentheticalsPosted by John Woodington on May 27th, 2010

I think I won’t write about not watching TV anymore.  It is boring stuff, and I can only say so many times, “Hey, I’m still not watching TV.”  It’s starting to sound like bragging, which means that’s the end of it.  I’m not watching TV, and I’m not writing about not watching TV.  The first rule of not watching TV is you don’t talk about not watching TV.  Ditto on the second rule.

I think I’ve completed my best short story yet.  It’s called “Memorial.”  I’ve had free time to work on it in the evenings, and I finally got a printer up and running in our house, so I printed it off, edited it through a couple times, made two moderately major changes (set it in the present instead of the future, and removed clipped coloquial verbiage, both upon recommendations of trusted readers) and now I think it’s quite publishable.  The problem?  I’ve already submitted it to 17 places in its “set-in-the-future-with-clipped-coloquial-verbiage” form.  So that sucks, because those 17 place were some of my top-tier places that I submit to, and since 13 of them have already rejected it, I can’t submit it to them again.  So now it’s off to other markets, hopefully ones that pay more than just contributors copies.

I know many authors think that if a story (or poem or essay or poemessay(?)) is rejected, they can significantly revise that story and resubmit it as a new piece of material to the very place that has already rejected them.  I don’t believe in that approach.  I say if you get rejected, you keep a stiff upper lip and move on to the next venue, whether you revise the story or not.  Were I an editor of a literary journal (or publishing house) I wouldn’t want to see the same story three times in three different draft forms.  That’d be a waste of time.  I’d say if an editor asks for a revision specifically, then go for it, but otherwise, don’t resubmit it even after significant editing.

(Also, I love parentheticals (and double-parentheticals) because they are so easy to drop in wherever you’d like.)

Where Ya Been?Posted by John Woodington on May 3rd, 2010

It’s time to move on.  Jasper Tilson has been published and the influx of blog readers has subsided, and now it’s back to business.  Already.  Kinda sad, really.  I worked on getting Jasper published for four years, and in two weeks, he’s out in the public sphere and lost to the interwebs.  Maybe he’ll reappear someday in a short story collection.  I’m not currently the kind of writer who moves their characters from one story to another, reusing them like fishing lures.  I get their stories down on paper and move on.  So now we move on.

I’ve finished reading through my current draft of AlieNation, my novel-in-progress about divorce, working in an office, and alien abductions.  I’m pretty pleased with it so far, mostly because I know it has the potential to be the best thing I’ve written in a long while if I stick with it and take the time necessary to flesh it out to its full potential.  Just used the word ‘potential’ twice in the same sentence, and I apologize for that right there.  The next steps I will take with this novel are to go through the many notes I’ve made while doing the read-through and rewrite, and to implement those notes into the story.  Some will take twenty seconds, and some will take twenty days, maybe more.  Once those are in, I’ll go through each chapter and optimize the wording, cutting and trimming and rewriting until the language is sharp and crisp and definite and ambiguous.  Sounds confusing, I know, just trust me.  After that, I’ll consider it pretty much done, and I’ll begin giving it to a couple of my trusted readers for their initial critiques.  After critiques I’ll do another rewrite, then start looking for a new literary agent.

And then I’ll be sixty-two years old.  Just kidding.  I’d like to get drafts out for reading by the end of the summer.  That’s the goal.  I’d also like to polish up a couple of short stories in that time, as well as edit out a short story from a couple sections of AlieNation that I believe would make for a very good short story.  Plus, if I can get a part of the novel published as a short story, that’ll possibly help me get the whole novel itself published.  At least, that’s how I imagine it.

So how will I do all of this in a scant four months?  Well, my wife and I are making a very personal, very deep commitment, and that commitment is to get rid of the TV in our living room.  I sit in front of that friggin’ box for 2-3 hours a night, and I’m sick of it.  We waste our lives watching waste on TV, and it’s time to eradicate the source of our brain-dead distraction.  We will still have a small TV in the bedroom for news in the morning, and a TV in the guest room, where we will watch a select few shows (Mad Men, mostly) and movies.  Other than that, for us it’s radio and books and writing and playing with our wieners.

Wiener dogs, that is.

So far, I haven’t felt any symptoms of withdrawal.  I figured the first omission of a rerun of The Officewould leave me writhing on the floor shivering and shrieking for Steve Carell.  Not so.  Not yet.  I will be strong in this endeavor, and I truly believe it can only lead to good things.  Or ultimate nervous breakdown.  On the immediate bright side of things, removing the hulking TV from the family room frees up a bunch more space for bookshelves, and, consequently, more books.  Right now I’m reading the ever-great Missouri Review, and then it’ll be on to Fight Club, about which I’ve heard mixed opinions.

Finally, thanks to everyone who donated to my wife’s and my team for the Animal Humane Society 2010 Walk for Animals.  We exceeded our personal goal ($1000), and saved the lives of many cute puppies, despite what the protesters at the beginning of the walk had to say (They made a big stink about a 45% kill rate, and I said, maybe if they donated more to my wife’s and my walking team, the AHS could afford to keep some of those animals alive for longer in order to find them loving homes.  Just sayin’.)

Jasper Tilson is Riding the Slow TrainsPosted by John Woodington on April 18th, 2010

My short story “Jasper Tilson” is now published at Slow Trains.  You can read it by clicking the following link:

Jasper Tilson at Slow Trains

I’m really excited to finally see this story in print.  I have to thank Slow Trains for publishing it.  I have to thank Deanna Lepsch and my wife for reviewing it not too long ago, and giving it the last few nudges to get it publication ready.  Finally, I must thank Allyson Loomis and everybody else in my 2006 Creative Writing Seminar at the University of Wisconsin – Eau Claire for reading and critiquing the initial draft.  This story would be sitting in a computer folder right now if not for the help of all of these people.

Thank you.

The Best Weight-loss Plan EverPosted by John Woodington on April 7th, 2010

On Monday, I discovered the most effective weight-loss plan in the history of the world.  I call it the “Stomach Flu” plan.  In twenty-four hours I lost about 90 pounds.  At least, it felt like I did.

Glimmer Train has a nice little interview with Thomas E. Kennedy, in which he describes and provides a great little exercise called the “cut-up technique” which gets you to stop thinking logically and start writing better.  Scariest of all is that it makes sense.  And works.  I may have to try it.

The Alexander Patterson Cappon Prize for Fiction is taking submissions until May 18th, and if you win, you get $1,500.00, which is like $8,765.93 in Writer Money and $12,346.17 in College Money.  Of course, there’s a $15.00 reading fee when you submit, but that’s about as low of a fee as you will find for a prize that size.

My short story “Memorial” was rejected by Crazyhorse, though the rejection email disappointed me a bit.

We are sorry this particular manuscript was not selected for publication in Crazyhorse. We hope you will send us another soon, though. We could not publish Crazyhorse without the fine writing submitted to us. While we regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it difficult for the editors to respond personally, we want to emphasize that an editor personally read your manuscript. Devoted reading is part of the Crazyhorse editorial mission; it is also our own personal one.

I was really hoping for an image of a truly crazy horse to come violently neighing out of my computer screen to slap me in the face with its oat bag and shriek at me that it hated my story and it had bigger fields to gallop through.  Basically Mr. Ed after a trough of Mountain Dew.  Ya feel me?

The Story of “Jasper Tilson”Posted by John Woodington on February 16th, 2010

When I was 21 years old, I came up with an idea for a short story about a young man who’s wife suddenly dies, and who then finds out that he does not have the ability to deal with it properly.  I think it partially came from a fear that I had myself.  I was going to be married a year or so later, and was terrified that something would happen to my then fiance/now wife.  I let the story float around in my head until the spring of 2006, almost a year later.  I was in a writing workshop at college, and I decided that it was the right time to write this story.

The initial problem I had was that I’d lost a page of notes that I’d written about the story, and after searching for days, I finally gave them up as lost, and pressed on with the story as I saw it in my head.  I wrote the first draft of the story, then rewrote, redrafted, reread, rewrote, until, five drafts later, I had something with which I was very proud.  I sent it off to the workshop class for critique.

The reviews from my peers were very positive, and my professor at the time said it was one of the better undergraduate short stories she’d seen.  So I figured that meant it was good enough for a strong publication, and I began sending it out to some of the top short story venues.

Two years later I had amassed a pile of rejections, and had lost hope of this story ever seeing the light of publication.  I decided it needed a reread.  I read through it, and to my surprise, saw that it had one major flaw.  It wasn’t finished.  I mean, I had thought it was finished two years earlier, and the praise of my peers hadn’t helped much in that respect.  But when I read it in 2008, I realized it didn’t have a true ending.  So I wrote one.  And I thought the story was much better for it.

I also messed with the title.  I changed it from its original title, “Jasper Tilson”, to “Intervention”, to “A Friendly Intervention”, and then back to “Jasper Tilson”.  The title changing took place over the course of two years itself.  But finally I had it back to “Jasper Tilson”, which was the right title for the story.  Surely publication would come soon.

Cut to the present day, four years after I’d first begun sending it out to publishers, and forty-six rejections later.  That’s right.  Forty-six (46) rejections.  Valentine’s Day, 2010, I get an email from Slow Trains which reads as follows:

Hi John,

Thank you for your submission to Slow Trains. We would like to publish your story in our spring issue, which will be online in late March.

Please return the information sheet below at your earliest convenience, and then we will send you the galleys link for your approval shortly before the issue is linked.

Thank you for contributing to Slow Trains!

Susannah

So now, after four years, forty-six rejections, multiple titles, multiple drafts, multiple endings, and ceasless submissions, “Jasper Tilson” will be published for all the world to read.  I can’t wait to see it at Slow Trains.  And of course, I’ll link to it here when it is up, which should be next month.

Super Important Writing Contests. Or Not.Posted by John Woodington on February 6th, 2010

Just got an email about a few writing contests that are oepn for submissions now, though I kinda feel only one of them is worth entering.  The first is a contest for younger peeps through the Ayn Rand Institute.  Write yourself an essay about how you are better than everyone else in the world, and you could win $2000.00.  The second one is the L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future Contest, in which you can write a story that will create a religion that charges its members an entrance fee to make them think we’re all made out of alien spirits that floated around volcanoes way back in the day.  For accomplishing this feat you can win $5000.00.

Note to self and rest of world: Shouldn’t a contest from the Ayn Rand Institute offer the greatest monetary reward?  Isn’t the almighty dollar the greatest achievement in their world?  And to be beat out by a guy who created a religion?  That’s what I’d call a Double Rand Whammy.

The third contest, and the only one I’d consider entering (because I’m too old and too nice for the Rand contest and too sane for the Hubbard) is the New South Writing Contest, which rewards good prose and good poetry in the amount of $1000.00.  I think this contest holds the most prestige for me, so I may check it out.  Either that, Or I could write up a quick sci-fi story and see what the L. Ronners think about it.

In a significantly unrelated topic, I do not care about who wins the Superbowl, so long as it is a good game, and I’m not waiting for Payton to run out the clock throughout the entire fourth quarter.  Naw meen?

One other thing that popped up in my head this week:  I am currently working on a novel.  I also have realized through the reading and rereading of said novel, that there are various portions (chapters, really) that could be published separately as short stories.  Has anyone tried this and found it successful?  Will it help chances of novel publication later on?  Or hurt them, for that matter?  I’d be curious to hear your thoughts, experiences, and feedback.

How to Publish Short Fiction and PoemsPosted by John Woodington on November 17th, 2009

I think there is a misconception around the writing world when it comes to the sensitive topic of publishing.  I’m talking specifically here about the publishing of short stories and poems, and not novels, which have a different, lengthier process, with multifaceted ways to get to the end goal.  In the world of publishing short stories and poems, becoming published lies solely in the hands of the author, and does not take an editor or publicist or agent to get a story into a publishing house. In fact, my previous literary agent said she would specifically not take charge of submitting short fiction for me, as there was very little money in it for her, and that she would only handle novel-length work. This makes sense, since her cut of my sales was 15%, and a top sale in short fiction would be $5000.00 at the very most, leaving her with a profit of only $750.00 for her work.

So the burden (and ultimately the success) of getting a short story or poem published lies with you, the author.  And it is not impossible.  Trust me.  I mean, yes, it’s impossible to get published in The New Yorker, but it’s possible to get published anywhere else.  You only need three things to get your short story or poem published:

1) Dedication
2) Consistency
3) A handy dandy submissions chart

I published my first piece of fiction when I was twenty.  It was wonderful and exciting, and it happened because I followed through on the list above.  I should tell you that this list was imparted to me through some wonderful writing instructors, and is not entirely of my own invention.  Here’s what each point means, and why you need to do it to get published:

1) Dedication – This is the most important (and therefore #1) item on the How To Get Published List.  You need dedication, and eve before that, I suppose, you need a realistic outlook.  The truth of the matter is, you are not going to be published right away (in all likelihood) and it is going to take time, and a little bit of effort.  And everyone goes through it.  You are not the only person to get a rejection letter (or, in the case of The New Yorker, a rejection sentence).  Take pride in them, save them in a folder, and realize that they are the paving stones that make up the path to publication.  You have to remain dedicated in the face of failure.  I have a story in submission right now that has been rejected over forty times in various versions and drafts, but I keep sending it out, because I feel it is a good story, and deserves to be read by others.

2) Consistency – This is important because it can save you a lot of time and a lot of indecision.  Be consistent in your submissions.  If a story gets rejected, send it right back out to the next place.  When you write out a query letter, perfect it ahead of time and use the same one for all of your submissions.  My entire query letter body reads like this:

Enclosed is my short story “[Title]” for publication consideration in [Name of Magazine]. The story is 4000 words long. A SASE is enclosed, and I look forward to hearing from you.

You don’t need more than that.  When I get a rejection letter, I drop it in my thick file of rejection letters and send out the story to the next place within 15 minutes.  The key is to keep your work out there.  You can’t get published unless you’re submitting your stories/poems regularly.  You have to assume that you will be rejected numerous times before your piece finds a venue that wants your work.  Keep sending it out, and don’t despair when The New Yorker says “No.”

3) A handy dandy chart – This is, for me, the most valuable item on my computer, aside from the stories themselves.  The chart consists of a list of your stories/poems that you have out for submissions, and where they are currently submitted, and when you submitted them.  I’ve worked on my chart over the years, and I track everything on it.  Here is a screenshot of it for your visual amusement:

In the left-hand column are the various stories that I have out for submission.  The ones highlighted in blue have already been accepted and published.  Across the top row is a list of various places that accept short story submissions.  Certain places are highlighted in light blue, which means they have rejected work in the past, but would like to see more work (sometimes publishers note this on their rejection letters; make sure to keep track of this as these places can be of value to you in the future, since you already know they like your writing style).  This is just a short sample of my list, which has over 130 different places that I have found to submit to.  Needless to say there are countless others that I don’t have on my list, but which you could put on yours.  The row directly beneath the list of publishers tells me if they take email submissions or snail mail submissions (email are far quicker, and cost no postage), and the row directly beneath that tells me which places pay their contributors (green highlighted boxes) and which don’t.  The little Xs in the cells denote where a particular story has been rejected, so that I don’t submit that story to them again by accident.  The cells with the dates in them denote where and when a particular story was submitted.  Those stories haven’t been rejected or accepted yet.  When they get rejected, I change the date to an X.  If they are accepted, I change the date to an A and highlight it blue, because blue makes me happy.

By following the three points listed above (Dedication, Consistency, A handy dandy list) it is only a matter of time before you find yourself among the published authors of the world.  But it takes time.  I currently have 5 stories that I am submitting, and those stories are each submitted to five places at a time.  It’s okay to do this.  Make multiple submissions at once.  Send your story to four or five different places at the same time.  Odds are you’re going to be rejected by most places anyway, so you may as well speed up the process of finding the right place by submitting to multiple places at once.  The worst that can happen is that your story gets accepted somewhere, and you have to email the other places you submitted to and tell them that your story is no longer available, which will probably make them think, “shoot, we should’ve taken that story before our competitor did.”

So send out your story or poem to The New Yorker and four other places, and when The New Yorker sends you their rejection sentence two weeks later, send that story right back out to the next place on your list.  Once you do this consistency, publishing only becomes a matter of time.  And while you’re waiting for rejections and acceptions, maybe you write out a few more stories or poems.  Because that’s what it’s all about, right?